We all know that hatred is bad and it is the most self-defeating emotion. Still, many of us don’t seem to be able to control it. This blog post is not for people who think that hatred is justified. It is for those who think that they shouldn’t hate people or circumstances, but somehow, are not in control of their feelings. They want to know how to remove the hatred from their hearts. If you’re one of those, then please read on.
Mistakenly, many people equate such topics as preaching, whereas it is not. Hatred is a highly negative emotion and just like any other negative emotion it generates lots of toxins inside your body (it is known to be carcinogenic) and hence, it makes a negative impact on your health. It also affects your judgement and your behavior and eventually it begins to bear its mark on every aspect of your life in case it goes out of control. Monumental historical tragedies have been instigated due to uncontrollable hatred.
Not hating people does not mean that you condone their acts (people would find very hard not to hate people like Hitler or Osama bin Ladin). It means not letting negative emotions take control of your life. Not hating people also does not mean not disliking them or not punishing rapists and terrorists. Here we are talking about hatred in your day-to-day life that is ruining all other blessings. For instance, hating your ex for breaking up with you, hating one of your siblings for getting more love and affection from the family or for merely being more successful than you, and so on.
Here are a few things you can do to remove hatred from your heart.
- Develop self-confidence: Most of the feelings of hatred originate from a sense of low self esteem. It is the feeling of blame. You blame the person for everything that’s happening in your life. When you have self-confidence you know that you are in control of everything. A person can harm you only up to a particular point, and after that it’s up to you how you take control of your life. Believe in yourself. Know that it’s you who make or break yourself. Your destiny is totally in your control. Understand that it’s not in your control what people do to you, but it is totally in your control how you react.
- Try to empathise with the object of your hatred: I know, it’s easier said than done, but not everybody harms you due to total viciousness. Try to understand the circumstances under which the person hurt you. Was he or she even aware of what he or she was doing to you? If that person broke up with you, was he or she solely responsible for the breakup? If you think you’ve lost your job because of someone, was he or she really responsible for was it just a coincidence? The list can go on and on.
- Develop a loving attitude: As the old saying goes, love always triumphs hatred. Do you know that loving the person who has hurt you is the greatest revenge? It doesn’t have to be a project. Just develop a loving attitude towards everybody.
- Appreciate what you have: Rather than always feeling bad about what you don’t have, begin to appreciate things and people that you have in your life. Life in itself can be a blessing if you can learn to appreciate it. No matter how miserable you feel, there are always far greater miseries in the world. If you live in a developed country, you can’t even begin to imagine what people have to go through just to get a few morsels of food or a few drops of water.
- Give some time to your other interests and hobbies: Do you love gardening? Have you been postponing joining a gym or jogging? Have you always wanted to get up early and get a head start? Do you want to attend a gaming convention? There are so many other things you can focus on rather than hating someone. By hating a person and altering your lifestyle according to this feeling alone you are giving too much importance to that person. If he or she has harmed you, you are prolonging that harm by hating that person.
The last point is very important and you can really use it to remove hatred from your heart. Start focusing on other activities and other people. Strike up new friendships. Pursue existing interests or take up new ones. Start spending more time with your family and your loved ones. The basic idea is becoming conscious of the feeling of hatred and then accepting that you want to get rid of it.